Earlier this month I read a nice article by Julie Scelfo, When Do They Need a Fig Leaf, published at New York Times.com. The article was an interesting discussion of the appropriateness of child nudity and modesty. Today I happened to read the following comment posted by a reader pertaining to the article which is provided her verbatim.
"To the Editor:
As a parent, I have a few observations and responses to your article. First, boys are just as modest as girls. There is nonsense floating around that girls are more mature and that it is therefore O.K. for boys to be nude at older ages.
Second, it is never appropriate for you to allow your children to be nude in front of visitors or other children without the knowledge of the parents. Even then, it is just plain wrong. Parents should encourage modesty, which usually starts around ages 4 to 6.
There is nothing healthy or cute in encouraging your children to be nude, or in just ignoring the behavior and hoping that they will grow out of it. As soon as one sibling starts noticing differences, clothing-optional behavior needs to be discouraged. I would be furious if my son or daughter went to a playmate’s home and there was nudity as described in your article.
Children are highly impressionable; what you allow, encourage or ignore will come back to haunt you. So parents need to grow up and be responsible. If you are a nudist and belong to a nudist colony or resort, obviously the situation is somewhat different, but please don’t impose your beliefs on the rest of us.
DARRELL V. HAMPTON
Rocklin, Calif."
What interests me about the above comment is the fact that while Mr. Hampton and many like him resist in his words, having nudists “impose your beliefs on the rest of us”, it never ceases to amaze me that he has apparently not the slightest hesitancy in attempting to impose his beliefs on the rest of us. He begins by lecturing the New York Times on what is and isn’t appropriate and then expounds on his own beliefs about what children should be taught about modesty. Mr. Hampton is entitled to his opinion just as we all are. Yet his comment illustrates the obvious internal conflicts and phobias he holds with respect to nudity which he was likely conditioned to internalize during his own “impressionable” years as a child, likely imparted to him by his own misguided parents, which causes him to see nudity as such a scary thing.
The fact that I am a nudist aside, I never think it appropriate to lecture others on such a personal issue as how to raise their own children. Since he alludes to the fact that he is a parent, I find it most unfortunate that Mr. Hampton is busily raising another generation of nude-phobic Hampton’s who sadly will likely never feel comfortable with their own bodies. My response is, Mr. Hampton please don’t impose your beliefs on the rest of us.
"To the Editor:
As a parent, I have a few observations and responses to your article. First, boys are just as modest as girls. There is nonsense floating around that girls are more mature and that it is therefore O.K. for boys to be nude at older ages.
Second, it is never appropriate for you to allow your children to be nude in front of visitors or other children without the knowledge of the parents. Even then, it is just plain wrong. Parents should encourage modesty, which usually starts around ages 4 to 6.
There is nothing healthy or cute in encouraging your children to be nude, or in just ignoring the behavior and hoping that they will grow out of it. As soon as one sibling starts noticing differences, clothing-optional behavior needs to be discouraged. I would be furious if my son or daughter went to a playmate’s home and there was nudity as described in your article.
Children are highly impressionable; what you allow, encourage or ignore will come back to haunt you. So parents need to grow up and be responsible. If you are a nudist and belong to a nudist colony or resort, obviously the situation is somewhat different, but please don’t impose your beliefs on the rest of us.
DARRELL V. HAMPTON
Rocklin, Calif."
What interests me about the above comment is the fact that while Mr. Hampton and many like him resist in his words, having nudists “impose your beliefs on the rest of us”, it never ceases to amaze me that he has apparently not the slightest hesitancy in attempting to impose his beliefs on the rest of us. He begins by lecturing the New York Times on what is and isn’t appropriate and then expounds on his own beliefs about what children should be taught about modesty. Mr. Hampton is entitled to his opinion just as we all are. Yet his comment illustrates the obvious internal conflicts and phobias he holds with respect to nudity which he was likely conditioned to internalize during his own “impressionable” years as a child, likely imparted to him by his own misguided parents, which causes him to see nudity as such a scary thing.
The fact that I am a nudist aside, I never think it appropriate to lecture others on such a personal issue as how to raise their own children. Since he alludes to the fact that he is a parent, I find it most unfortunate that Mr. Hampton is busily raising another generation of nude-phobic Hampton’s who sadly will likely never feel comfortable with their own bodies. My response is, Mr. Hampton please don’t impose your beliefs on the rest of us.
The original article has generated a lot of discussion and I've seen a lot of positive comments as well as some in the same vein as Mr. Hampton.
ReplyDeleteIf I had the chance to it all over again, I'd raise my kids without body shame. I didn't know any better then.
At times it’s wonderfully amazing living at a naturist resort. Yesterday PJ and I drove up to our trailer at Olive Dell Ranch (Colton CA) after work, arriving shortly after 3:00 pm. We immediately got undressed as is our custom, and I grabbed a shovel and walked down to hill to extend the trail from our garden. Even in the late afternoon heat I realized again how much I love nude gardening, and can do it for hours.
ReplyDeleteAfter about an hour I saw several kids, W... and S..., walking up to hill to visit the garden. (They’re probably about 10 years old.) Wyatt was nude, carrying a towel. Star wore an open-front sarong. Just two naturist kids enjoying each other’s company, and visiting the fun garden PJ and I are creating.
They said hi, and explained how much they liked what we were doing. They especially liked the alligators PJ had hidden by the maze. Otherwise, they pretty much disregarded the naked old man digging a trail in the garden.
S... took off her sarong and they laid on a large flat rock in the garden while they talked. After a while they got up and went to talk with PJ, painting on the deck by the trailer. They sat for some time on the deck, watching the birds – all three naked.
After a while, W... walked down the trail to examine my progress. W... and S... said goodbye, then headed back to the clubhouse, carrying towel and sarong.
Later in the evening I saw the two friends riding bikes. They had put on pants, but were both topless. What a wonderful way to grow up, playing with naked friends of both sexes, and thinking nothing of it.
Later in the evening Mary Lou and David dropped by and sat naked with us around the table on the deck talking, eating cherries and popcorn, and drinking soda, until it got dark. I commented on how great it was to see the kids so unconsciously enjoying themselves as naked friends. Mary Lou seem a little surprised at my reaction, but commented how her kids were raised as naturists and thought nothing about being naked with the family.
Why couldn’t I have been raised that way? Life is so short, and I missed so much – too bad. But it’s wonderful to have finally found a better way to live, and especially wonderful that PJ understands and participates.
We love living, even part-time, at Olive Dell Ranch. Those with more interest in Kenfreehiker's and PJ's naturist experiences are welcome to visit: http://kenfreehiker.blogspot.com/ or http://groups.google.com/group/skinnytrippers .
I fully agree with what you say! Personally I feel more open and secure in myself in nudist situations...
ReplyDeleteKenfreehiker, I don't think you really live in Cal. I hate to be the one to tell you, but I think you've died and gone to Heaven!
ReplyDeleteIt's unfortunate that we've gotten confused about the difference between "imposing" a belief on someone, and merely "expressing" an opinion.
ReplyDeleteBoth you and Mr. Hampton are "expressing" your opinions, no matter how right or wrong they may be.
Accusing someone of "imposing" their beliefs is a way of demonizing them, and it gives them power they don't really have. It's a bad habit.
As a father of four young children raised in a Clothing Optional Household, I find the quoted fella to be nothing but a person who has some serious body issues. Well, as do most people in Western Society. If only we were European in thought where they aren't haunted by a line of social taboos which only creates more harm than good.
ReplyDeleteLive Naked Live Free!