This is yet another update pertaining to the club I have helped to establish, North Texas Naturists. I handle all the inquires we receive via our web site and an email I received from a member of another non-landed club in our area is what prompted me to write this article. I won’t quote the email verbatim as I think that would be unethical, nor will I name the club, but suffice to say the thrust of the email was that the writer was more than a little critical of North Texas Naturists for establishing a new non-landed club in “his” area that the writer considered “competition” to his club. He went on to say that since it seemed that North Texas Naturists was the “same” as his club, he didn’t understand why we didn’t just join his club instead of becoming a competitor.In my reply, I politely reminded him that his club followed a “couples-only” policy while North Texas Naturists was an authentically singles-friendly club that welcomed all nudists and did not exclude people on the basis that they didn’t happen to be married or otherwise be partnered up with someone who shared their interest in social nudity. I also mentioned that we didn’t form our club with the intent of competing with his club or any other club, but simply to provide another option to the nudists in our area. I informed him that I myself had been in contact with the president of his club before deciding to help organize North Texas Naturists and had been flatly told that his club does not accept single males for membership as their orientation was couples-only. So actually, our club was not the same as his club in any material respect, and that we had markedly different philosophies.
The singles-friendly policy of North Texas Naturists goes against the conventional wisdom of those who believe they know what it takes to operate a viable, successful nudist club. Conventional wisdom says that you must have some way of regulating the ratio of men and women so that there is a balance between the sexes. A sort of “one woman for each man concept.” I happen to disagree with this idea on a number of different levels.
First, naturists clubs who follow the traditional naturist philosophy of wholesome social nudity are not sexually oriented. So if the intent is simply to socialize and enjoy the company of others in a communal, non-sexualized, social nudity setting, why would it matter how many were male and how many were female? No one is looking to hook up with a partner for sex. Everyone treats others in a polite and respectful way. So why would anyone feel uncomfortable in that kind of environment even if there happened to be more single men present than unattached women or couples?
Another problem I have with enforcing policies that discriminate against singles is that naturists and nudists hold themselves out as one of the most accepting groups of people in society. We claim to accept others as they are and for whom they are regardless of race, ethnicity, color, creed, orientation, body type, etc. It just seems more than a little hypocritical to me that a social group claiming to be so enlightened, open and accepting would discriminate against people and exclude them from participation simply because they happened to be unmarried or not in a relationship. Personally I just wouldn’t feel comfortable joining a group who espoused that kind of policy. In my opinion, the days of discrimination are over and any kind of –ism to me, to put it bluntly is nothing less than ignorance. Naturists should be the last people who would every think discriminatory policies were acceptable. Every traditional naturist club should have policies to exclude those looking for recreational sex or voyeuristic or exhibitionist opportunities to take advantage of and harass those who simply want to get together to enjoy mere nudity with like minded people. I think that is more than sufficient to provide an environment where people, both males and females can relax, have an enjoyable time and feel comfortable.
Personally, I am involved in a long term relationship with a woman who is really dear to me and great fun to share time with. It just happens to be the case that she does not share my interest in social nudity and I respect that. I wouldn’t think of discarding the perfectly good and meaningful relationship I have with her simply to find someone to partner up with that enjoys social nudity. Certainly not just so I could gain acceptance from a couples-only club like the one the writer of the email belongs to.
So maybe we are naïve. Maybe we don’t grasp the conventional wisdom and understand what it takes to operate a viable, successful naturist club. But you may be certain that as long as North Texas Naturists exists, we will remain firmly committed to our policy: No vagina, no partner, no problem.
It's simple - many women will simply not attend male dominated nudist events. My local club here in Columbus, Ohio, has about a 4 to 1 ratio of men to women at swims. My wife simply would not go with me to the swims, and I don't blame her, but once we hooked up with another couple to go to a landed club, she had no problem with going nude. There are certainly exceptions, but once a club allows unchecked growth and becomes male dominated, it's usually the beginning of the end.
ReplyDeleteAs an unaccompanied male (I'm not "single"), the other club wouldn't have me as a member either. It's an unfortunate fact of life that many women feel uncomfortable in a male dominated nudist environment, especially those who are either new to the lifestyle or want to try it for the first time.
ReplyDeleteI'm a member of the club Nudiarist mentioned and I can attest to its male dominance. I attended their swim this past weekend. There were about 20 to 25 men and only 3 women, none of whom went nude. That's the normal ratio at the swims although one or two women will be nude.
I don't mean to discourage you but gender balance is generally desireable in order to attract couples and single women. Yes, it's discriminatory and it makes it more difficult for "unaccompanied" males who hold true to the ideals of nudism.
The idea of two non-landed clubs in the same area competing is rather silly. If anything they should be working togethter to promote the lifestyle. Two clubs in Columbus routinely cohost swims and routinely attend each other's events. Some people are members of both clubs.
Best of luck with your club.
I commend your initiative to create another naturist opportunity in North Texas. Competition in a free market always brings out the best, while giving "consumers" options at the same time.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I wouldn't be too critical of a couples-only policy. Much like your singles-friendly policy, the other club is merely meeting a perceived need. Although not as much an an issue now, my wife would have been very hesitant to get into naturism if her initial exposure had been to a largely male-dominated club. She enjoys company and conversation with women and would have been disappointed, if not outright disinterested if there were few such opportunities. Even now, although the clubs and resorts we patronize have no such policies, we still enjoy meeting other couples. It's a big part of the social aspect of naturism for us, and we really look forward to it. Were we to have a choice, we'd choose the club with couples, simply because it's more in line with our desires.
That being said, it's great that you have created an opportunity for singles in your area and we wish you the best in your endeavours.
Social nudity mostly is a male preference, although I'm told there are women who go undressed at the Michigan Women's Music Festival. I have had at least one woman -- in a non-sexual, non-nudist context, and not knowing that I am a nudist -- tell me that she preferred being nude. (Brave woman!) In the war between the sexes, female comfort with communal nudity may require some demonstration that nudism is other than a male-engineered chance to gawk and compare. Men's enjoyment at being nude in each other's company might be such a demonstration.
ReplyDeleteThanks for not only setting this up, but being recognized by both AANR and TNS. As a member of TNS, I read about the new group in the recent Nude and Natural Magazine, and quickly filled out my application. I'm a part of other social nudism groups, and am looking forward to getting more involved with NTN. Keep up the great work!
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